It’s not just about weight. But it’s a goal: 10 pounds by my birthday — September 10. Yup. It’s time. I’m ready. Time to SHED the baby weight once and for all. And, I can do it.

I CAN DO IT!

I’ve been kind of SEMI trying to lose the weight all this time. With a chai here, a blueberry muffin there, a second helping of pasta here, and that extra spoonful of almond butter THERE (ON. MY. THIGHS).

BUT, ever since the Meditation Workshop I went to last week, I WANT TO CHANGE. And, it’s not ACTUALLY about the weight.

I’ve started to make drastic changes to my diet. While I continue to cook chicken and DEFROST ready-made meat meals for my family — always organic, by the way — I’ve gone strictly vegetarian, with the addition of organic, free-range, eggs and organic yogurt when I feel I need it. Because I DO need some dairy and eggs in my diet, or I start to feel faint. Maybe this will change. Not sure. For now, being a strict vegetarian means really listening to my body and what it needs. God knows, yoga helps with that!

That said, this week in the country has been quite challenging. I’m supposed to be eating wholesome foods: tons of fruits and vegetables, nuts and legumes…. While the fam’s barbecuing hot dogs and hamburgers, I’m struggling to find something, ANYTHING, organic or at least wholesome to eat.

So, I’ve ended up eating a lot of candy — something I gave up a long time ago — for lack of FOOD. Not good.

But, today, we FINALLY went shopping at the neighbouring town’s grocery store. The only organic thing they had was Bob’s Red Mill grains (LOVE)….

…which goes to show that Bob is EVERYWHERE….

I also managed to find some brown rice pasta, some canned chickpeas, tomato sauce…. So, while the fam had their chicken and salad and COOKIES, I stayed strong and enjoyed a lovely pasta dish with chickpeas, tomato sauce and freshly grated parmesan cheese, and the lovely salad filled with local fresh veggies. Not perfect. But, better than candy.

Anyway, my meditation instructor suggested I eat clean in order to get the most out of my body — including losing this pregnancy weight. Absolutely clean. Fruits and veggies are to make up a greater-than-ever part of my diet.

The thing with this whole-foods diet is that I can’t use food as a crutch anymore. So, in one day, all these emotions are coming up. It’s all so very RAW (PUN!). And, I actually have to, erm, DEAL with them. Instead of eating to deal with them (as I now notice I’ve been doing!), I’ve been swimming lengths in the pool, walking, practicing yoga, and journal writing, and meditating when I can (even if it’s just for 5 minutes in the car!). It all helps.

It really is amazing how tightly intertwined food and emotion are for me…. It’s crazy. But, it’s beautiful to learn this here, and now, in the country — isolated from my life in the city….

Just some thoughts. Not editing this because I’m in the country and lazing and relaxing the brain.

What do you think?