……RRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

MY CAMERA!

IT’S BROKEN!

PICTURES!

I CAN’T TAKE!

I have no idea how it happened, but my camera will not take pictures. I have a 2-year-old canon that’s seen me through thick and thin and that’s totally responsible for the interestingness of this blog. WhatEVAH am I going to DO!

And, what if I wanted to take a picture of the AMAZING DINNER I made while BOTH monkeys napped this afternoon — EVEN THOUGH I’D HAD NO, I REPEAT, NO SLEEP LAST NIGHT? Not a wink. No sleep. Had no sleep. I HAD NO SLEEP. And, alls I wanted to do was take a picture of my beautiful pasta dinner so I could post it on the bloggy…. Sniff, I was so proud of it….

Picture it: green pasta “noonools,” as the monkey calls them, with ground chicken and grated cheese (we’re obviously not kosher…). GREEN NOONOOLS. I’m serious! Know why they were green? Because cheaty ole I snuck an ENTIRE package of spinach into it. And, of course, I snuck half a package of butternut squash in, too…. Yes — inspired by Jessica Seinfeld’s new book — I pureed my arse off. And, the monkey ATE IT! And, she ATE MY DINNER, too! And, then she had THIRDS! (Which means she also ate TONS OF SPINACH and SQUASH! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!) It was DEELISH. Cheatily deelishuss.

But, no photos…. Freaking WAHH!

Oh well.

In other news…. We had our doctor’s appointment today. The rascal’s one month checkup! He’s doing great. Apparently, he’s a “big boy”! In one month, he’s gained about 2.5 pounds! GO MY BOOBS! Woo! Nice. Although…he’s, like, ATTACHED to my boobs 24/7. (No, seriously.) And, IF I HAD MY CAMERA, I could PROVE it to you! Oh well…, NO BOOBS FOR YOU!

I’m totally fading right now…. Better get my arse over to CHEATY’S CELEBRITY GOSSIP before I pass out! See you there?

CAMERA!!!!!

1 hour. THAT’S ALL THE SLEEP I GOT LAST NIGHT. 1 hour.

1 measly hour.

1 measly weaselly hour of sleep.

Several times during the night, THIS little sequence of events happened: I finally get him to fall asleep; I put him in his crib; I stand there and watch him to make sure he’s actually DEEP in sleep; and I leave; I tiptoe to my room; I get into bed; I lie down under cozy cozy covers; ahhh, and I drift to — eh eh eh eh WAAAHHHHHH! ugh; back to baby’s room I go; trudge trudge; barf.

Despite my 1 measly hour of sleep, I’ve been doing aiight today. It’sgrandma took the monkey to their music class this morning, then to the park and to lunch. And, I. OH I…. I decided to get all hypochondriac and go to the doctor to make sure I wasn’t dying of some awful illness. Ahh, nothing like a little postpartum anxiety to drive you to the doctor INSTEAD of the grocery store…. What could have been an enjoyable morning of grocery shopping with my little guy turned into a frustrating morning of waiting at the doctor’s office among a bunch of coughers. HORK! Blehhhh! And, of course, since I was there, doc gave me my postpartum thyroid blood test…grrrrreat. Good times.

I arrived home from the doc’s office — and, no, I’m not dying (just fyi) — in time to open the door for li’l miss monkey. And, I decided, since the baby was sleeping (day time equals sleep time, apparently… #$$%@#$!), to spend some good quality time with her. So, we painted with water colours, and we read books. I spent the entire time on the floor, which I haven’t done in MONTHS because of preggers hugeness. And, when she started rubbing her eyes, I suggested she go for her nap. AND, SHE WENT! She did get out of her bed a few times, but I didn’t react. I kept my voice soft and calm and gently insisted that she go have some time to herself. I can’t believe it worked.

So, here I am feeling pretty good about my mothering. And, here I go — TO BED.

But, one last thing.

I bought it…. I bought THE BOOK. Well, it’sgrandma got it for me as a li’l gifty. It’s ALL THE RAGE! LOVE! Check it:

Take it from me, this book is VERY inspiring for parents of picky eaters. I actually made a butternut squash puree yesterday (QUICKLY with frozen squash — I will NOT be roasting squash, Jessica Seinfeld!), and I mixed it into the monkey’s macaroni-and-cheese dinner, and SHE LOVED IT!

HA!!! Look who’s cheaty NOW! MWAHAHA!!! — I got her to eat squash without knowing it! LOVES IT!

Oh, and one more thing? These books by the late Tracy Hogg are saving my life right now. SAVING IT! (Click on the pics for deets!):

It is precisely because of THESE books that my day was — dare I say? — relatively…tame…!? That my two little monkeys were, erm…manageable!? HIGHLY RECOMMEND.

Ahh, the good-ole swaddle…. Hopefully, it works for me TONIGHT! Wish me luck! Here’s to MORE than one hour of sleep tonight!

NEWSFLASH: I burp EVERY time I burp the baby…. It’s, like, SO bizarre.

Want gossip? Check it — at CHEATY’S CELEBRITY GOSSIP!

Dear Chin,

I’d really appreciate it if you would please give me just a little break. See, I’m supposed to be all glowy and pretty because preggers. And, you’re making this VERY difficult for me. Kindly stop with the ZITS already? I understand my hormones are raging, and, when they rage, you get to work. And, I understand that I could be eating a little better. But, DUDE. Help me out here. It’s enough that I’m waddling, and belching, and sweating BIG WET SPLOTCHES under my GINORMOUS BREASTS. But, zits? That’s where I draw the line. Seriously, give a girl a break. Okay? Please? Thanks.

Love you,

Haley

I made the BEST MEAL EVAH for the monkey. She had THREE SERVINGS! I still can’t believe it. And, I’m STILL on cloud nine because of it.

Sorry, this is the best picture I could get. Something’s up with my camera. But, I’d rather something be up with my camera than HAVE ZITS on my chin! Oh, wait, I have both these problems…suckage…, and my back hurts like ARSE! Hard to even just SIT here. Oh, you still there? Sorry, got sidetracked kvetching. LOVE!

Anyway, so the picture makes this GOURMET treat look like mush. But, this is FAR from mush. This is yummy nutritiony goodness! I call it my GREEN MONSTER PASTA! And, the monkey LOVES IT! Hee! She LOVES it! She REALLY LOVES IT!

She loves it so much SHE HAD THREE PORTIONS! My picky non-eater had THREE PORTIONS! Can I say it once more? THREE PORTIONS! She just LOVED the “noonles”!

So! It’s basically whole grain pasta, with a blended broccoli sauce (seriously blended so that NO CRUMB of broccoli is visible), ricotta cheese, chicken chunks and pine nuts! I wanted to take a pretty picture of the finished dishes I prepared, but my camera battery went out. The stars are aligned today, I tell you!

Here’s the recipe…!

You need:

-1tbs butter (can be substituted with canola or olive oil — butter works best with monkeys)
-box of pasta (I use kamut penne or fusilli, and I use a box full so that I have loads of leftovers)
-broccoli or spinach or both (as much as you want)
-chopped onion
-garlic (one clove)
-dried basil
-ricotta cheese
-parmesan cheese
-lemon juice (tablespoon of)
-two breasts of chicken (optional)

Instructions:

1. Melt half of butter in big saucepan.
2. Saute onion, garlic, and then broccoli (and/or spinach).
3. Meanwhile, cook pasta noodles in separate pot.
4. Dump sauted items in blender with enough of your hot pasta water to blend well (half to one cup should do it), PLUS, add parmesan cheese to taste and texture, add other half of butter, lemon juice, basil, and pine nuts.
5. If using chicken, stir fry the chicken in that big sauce pan.
6. Drain pasta and add to chicken in big pan (after chicken is fully cooked, of course).
7. Pour sauce into big pan, and mix mix mix!
8. Add big clump of ricotta (like, 3/4 cup), and mix mix mix!
9. Serve! And, sprinkle pine nuts on top of each dish (toddler may not like pine nuts on top…warning….)

Enjoy!

Did I mention she had THREE PORTIONS!?!? And, THERE WAS BROCCOLI!!! Victory is SWEET! YESSSSS!

Want gossip? Check it — at Cheaty’s Celebrity Gossip!

Want more PREGGO TALK? Check it at Haley’s Pregnancy Blog! FRESHLY UPDATED!!!

I cannot believe the time right now. It’s seriously ridiculous…. But, I’m not tired! Kinda wired actually. Besides, this is PRIME baby kicking and rolling and flipping and somersaulting time. Hard to concentrate on the writing with the little one doing all that dancing in my belly. It’s wild, really. And, SO distracting.

Maybe I’m not tired right now because I had a 3.5-hour nap today. D’you think? Both the monkey and I napped that long! 3-6:30pm. Insane, I know. And, I felt GREAT — not nauseous and groggy like I usually feel after a nap. When we woke up, I made dinner (a summer salad with store-bought eggplant parmie…).

The monkey went right to bed at 9pm. I TOTALLY know, she’s an AMAZING sleeper.

Yeah, so it was a nothing day. But, tiring. Tiring enough to send the monkey and I into a deep late-afternoon snooze.

The day was tiring because it was very busy work-wise. The monkey and I worked hard on the business. Lots of orders these days. Must be something in the air. Check these new paintings! I have to put them up on the site still — so, you’re getting the first look at them. The artist just sent them to me now…. How talented is SHE!? And, she’s 6 months preggers! Pregnancy really does bring out the creative in women…:

Cute, huh? Whimsical, huh? I LOVE THEM!

Yeah, so pregnancy brings out the creative in women. But, this week has been ROUGH for me writing-wise. I’ve been struggling to get anything down. A lot of that is because the baby is seriously active inside me belly. Doesn’t stop. And, it’s always when I sit down to blog. Maybe it’s the position I’m sitting in. Or, the ice cream I just ate…. Not sure.

Which reminds me, WHY WHY WHY is Baskin Robbins discontinuing RASPBERRY CHEESE LOUISE? I love that lowfat yogurt with raspberry CHEESECAKE chunks and gram-cracker crumbs and that delectable raspberry ribbon! WHY? WHY ARE THEY DOING THIS TO ME!?

He’s staring at me again….

Creepy little bugger…. MINDEN!!!!!

It feels like 100 degrees in this house, but my little monkey INSISTED on sleeping in these red flannel (winter) Gap pajamas….

While you’re checking this pic, look how she self-soothes: one thumb in mouth (which we’re working on discouraging…), and one hand down the shirt. SO BIZARRE and ‘DORABLE.

OMIGOSH! Did I tell you? She POOPED. MY MONKEY POOPED IN THE TOILET FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!!!! I was so excited I did such a dance. I have to give Josh all the credit here. He was about to bathe her, and he noticed her face going red…. So, he put her on the toilet, and TADA! She pooped in the toilet!

YES, I took a picture of the poop in the toilet, but I’ll spare you that…. As long as you’re nice to me….

Want gossip and SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE (my favourite show) videos, etc.? Check it — at CHEATY’S CELEBRITY GOSSIP!!!

Want to see the COMMERCIAL I’M IN? Check it at HALEY’S PREGNANCY BLOG! (And, if you haven’t done so already, send me your preggo-belly pic!)

LOVE!

xo Haley-O

Today was such a happy day. I spent most of the morning at the obstetrician’s office waiting to have my monthly prenatal checkup. That cheaty little monkey came along with me, of course, and she was in true cheaty form. She went up to everyone in the waiting room and said “Hullo Der!” And, she twirled until she got dizzy, snuck into people’s offices, and babbled her hilarious gibber-speak much to the enjoyment and amazement of EVERYONE around. As exhausting as it was to keep her in check for the hour-long wait, I was thoroughly entertained. She was SUCH a little actor/comedian/dancer/artist. True form, I tell you. True form. I was so proud, and positively elated just to be with her.

Even when she screamed her little arse off while I was being examined on the obstetrician’s table, when she spilled her water all over my dining room table and MACBOOK (don’t worry, it’s fine!), when she smashed my TV remote controllers over and over again into my fave crystal bowl, and when she screamed at poor Minden, pulled his tail, etc., etc., I laughed and laughed and laughed. I’m giddy happy today. “Giddy” — one of my fave words, don’t you know!

It doesn’t take too much to make me happy, really. I’m generally pretty easy going, and I know what I like. Here are THIRTEEN things that make me happy. Check it!:

1. OBVIOUSLY, the fam and friends (including all my GORGEOUS internet friends!)

2. The CATS

3. The Macbook

4. The Reality TV

5. The Lululemons ( I just bought these capris in black and khaki…LOVE — no matter how ridiculously expensive they are….)

6. The Digital Camera

7. The Jane Iredale Makeup

8. The Pure and Simple Face Powder-Foundation and Skincare Products

9. The Lancôme Difinicils Mascara

10. The Nightguard

11. The Starbucks Nonfat (or soy) Chai Tea Latte (once a week…)

12. The Warners Cotton No-Wire Bras (the only bra I can wear while preggers — totally UGGERS, but comfy….)

13. The NIA classes (yes! my OB said I could practice again! saaaawweet!)

Your turn! What are the things (big and small, significant and superficial) that make YOU happy?

I got lots of comments/emails about the PAD THAI dish in yesterday’s post. Lots of you wanted the recipe. Sooo, here it is.

It’s really easy because I use a healthy pad thai kit to build on. You can find this anywhere — from large grocery stores to the small organic ones:

The box includes noodles and sauce. And, the ingredients are all-natural and healthy. I used two packages…. We were hungry. So, here’s what I did to make that tasty dish:

1. Chop up red and yellow peppers (and any other veggie).

2. Dump peppers and frozen broccoli (and any other veggie) into large skillet with a ~1tbsp olive oil.

3. Stir fry chicken strips or tofu.

4. Meanwhile, cook noodles: boil water for noodles, and boil noodles for 3-5 minutes. Rinse and drain.

5. Mix the veggies and the chicken strips into one skillet.

6. OPTIONAL (but good idea if you don’t have peanuts on hand or if you have a picky toddler — worked for us!): add crunchy peanut butter to skillet (I added 1/4 cup, or 4 tablespoons), and stir until well-mixed and melted.

7. Add sauce (from package[s]), and mix with tongs until noodles, chicken and veggies are well coated.

8. Add lime juice and/or chives if desired. If you don’t want to use peanut butter, you can sprinkle crushed peanuts on top….

EASY! ENJOY!

Also, a LOT of you asked how the monkey holds out ’till 7:30 to eat dinner. Easy answer again: she naps from around 2pm-5pm. When she wakes up from her nap, I give her juice and a snack. She then goes to the park or plays with me and/or Josh (while I procrastinate and then cook dinner). She’s really barely hungry at 7:30…. Easy OTHER answer? The kid doesn’t need food to live. I’ve recently come to that conclusion….

CONVERSATION BETWEEN THE MONKEY AND A NURSE AT MY OB’S OFFICE:

Nurse: Monkey, what does a cow say?

Monkey: Moo….

Nurse: What does a cat say?

Monkey: Waowwwww….

Nurse: What does your mommy say?

Monkey: I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!

((MELT))