So, I lost 2.8 pounds this week! This is actually a bit of a miracle because I’ve been a cheaty little monkey in the diet department — at least toward the end of the week, when I got this BRUTAL COLD and was too lazy to tell my inner diet devil to SHUDDUUUUP!

This week, I’m going hard core, though. My plan, based on Lori’s sage advice, is to CLEAN OUT THE FRIDGE and MAKE ROOM FOR THE VEGGIES!

My problem with veggies is that I CAN’T BE BOTHERED. With two kids under 3, there’s no freaking time to chop chop chop. AND, I’m CRAZY — it takes me forever to wash a fruit. LORD HELP US ALL when I buy berries; I’m standing over the sink rinsing and soaking and re-rinsing those berries…. It’s ridiculous. And, it’s ridiculously time-consuming and exhausting.

SO, Lori gave me the best advice:

1) Buy as much as you can PRE-CHOPPED and PRE-WASHED. Pre-chopped green beans, pre-chopped carrots, etc., etc.. It may cost a WEE bit extra, but it’s worth it. “But,” I asked her, “Is that healthy? They’re sitting in the plastic bag, likely not organic, etc., etc.?” “It’s much better for you than not eating them at all, Haley,” she replied…. Point taken!

2) Chop chop chop all your vegetables asap after buying them so that you can just GRAB them out of the fridge. Lori says she does this on Sundays…. I think that’s a good habit to get in to. I’m there….

So, tomorrow we start. Clean fridge. Clean eating. Loading up on the veggies….

Now, to get some sleep so I can be strong and get FIT and HEALTHY!

What are YOUR secrets to getting your veggies in? Please share!

As I talked at length about at Cheaty Monkey, I’ve finally realized that, after two pregnancies, I’ve let myself go. AND, I’m making the commitment NOW to put myself back together again — kind of like “Humpty Dumpty,” but the soldiers are hott and Humpty’s 1000x skinnier in the end.

Anyway, I’m using this space, at least today, to figure out what I need to do tomorrow, when I start my new diet FOR REALS.

So, NEW binder is open.

Let’s figure this out together….

Breakfast: LORI’S SHAKE TO GO (totally yum….)

Lunch: Ezekiel bread, Wild salmon (canned), Mayo, veggies.

Snack: STARBUCKS CHAI TEA LATTE Raspberries, Cottage Cheese, Walnuts.

Dinner: 1/2 cup quinoa, 2 eggs, veggies….

Snack: Rye crackers, almond butter, lowfat cheese.

Exercise: Yoga, Dusk Walk.

Ugh, ugh, UGH…. NOT FUN. But, I’ll get used to it…. I’m motivated now. Time to get GORJ!

And, yeah, it’s hard, and PLAIN, and rigorous. But, I have 35 pounds to lose. When those pounds are GONZO, I’ll slowly incorporate more of everything into the diet.

Still thinking about poultry…. I think I need it in my diet — if not because the vegetarian version of this diet is RUTHLESS and because vegetarianism takes mayjah planning to do right. Sigh, will go to ORGANIC butcher for free-range poultry….

So, I’ve been on this new diet lifestyle for 2 days now. It’s definitely agreeing with me and, after only two days, I can see the errors of my eating ways, and how gravely they were affecting me on so many levels — physical, emotional, energetic….

The only change Nutritionist, Lori, wants me to make this first week is breakfast. I’m supposed to eat one of the balanced breakfasts among her long list. So, two days in a row, I’ve had an egg, a piece of Ezekiel bread, an oz of cheese and an apple. Starting off with this balanced meal sets me up for the day. And, it’s quicker and easier to make than I thought it would be!

My friends don’t seem to understand just WHY I need to quit my Starbucks-chai-tea-latte breakfast — because, really, it’s not THAT BAD calorie-wise, and I DO take it with nonfat milk (or soy milk). But, the problem is, that evil drink SPIKES my blood sugar, throwing me out of balance. It’s a drug, A CRUTCH, for me — hence I chug it, am absolutely incapable of calmly sipping it. I IDENTIFY with this silly drink. It’s my ESCAPE. My cup of ADULT in this toddler/baby world I’m ensconced in.

Now that I realize all this, I have to change it. I canNOT depend on a drink to do all that for me. And, besides, BALANCE, I’m learning, and not ESCAPE is the way to go. When I have that chai, I crave sugar for the rest of the day — “pant pant pant sugar sugar gimme sugar where’s my sugar another chai need another chai more MORE MOOOOORE!” I CRAVE that HIGH ALL DAY. With a balanced breakfast, I crave balance all day, and the satisfied feeling that balanced breakfast gives me. Also, the balanced breakfast makes me more apt to recognize when I’m off balance — like right now, as a matter of fact, because I’m so tired from WAY overextending myself lately! MUST GET MORE SLEEP!

So, balance. Yoga off the mat. Don’t get me wrong, Gorgeouses, renouncing The Chai is NOT EASY, no matter how easy I make it sound! Today, Gorgeouses, I had to work HARD to resist her. I was a like a toddler whose favourite toy has been taken away. I WAAAAAAN IT, and I want it BAD. But, I persevered and managed to get through the day chai…FREE.

I always thought that “dieting” meant denying myself the things I love. But, the things I love are CRUTCHES, ADDICTIONS. And, I need to liberate myself from these addictions. Freedom is in the healthy foods, and not the stuff that WEIGHS US DOWN — the donuts, the cookies, the CHAAAAIIIIIs we WISH we could have copious amounts of!

I’m a yoga teacher. Time to get back on track as an example for my students. The goal is liberation. Freedom from the material. Renouncing that chai is an act of freedom. Goodbye CHAI. You suck arse.

So, HUGE NEWS, Kitchen Gorgeouses! Nutritionist LORI is going to motivate us with monthly contributions, to start. When she has more time, i.e., AFTER SHE HAS HER BABY, she’ll do more — perhaps WEEKLY!

Just so you know, Lori is AWESOME. So many of my friends are on her diet, and they SWEAR BY IT. She’s a “holistic nutritionist” — which means she has an eye on OVERALL health and not just on weight loss. You’ll love her.

More on Lori AND the diet later. For now, a recipe for a BALANCED breakfast that will make you feel as good as I do now. As Lori says, the first thing to do when you’re changing your lifestyle is to change your breakfast. Eat a balanced breakfast within one hour of waking up. Check it!

LORI’S SHAKE TO GO

Ingredients:

1/2 c rice milk (substitute 1% Regular Milk or Soy Milk)
1/4 c water
1 scoop protein powder (I use Hemp Protein powder because I’m a nutball….)
1/2 c blueberries
1 c strawberries
2 tsp flaxseed oil

Blend until smooth! Et VOILA! Enjoy.

I haven’t tried this recipe yet. But, I bought all the ingredients, see?!

Healthy healthy! And, low maintenance — I’m not, like, juicing or growing my own vegetables and sprouts. Will try it tomorrow.

NOTE: Not every diet suits everyone. What you’re reading here, of course, are my reflections. Talk to your doctor, of course, and don’t take these words as Truth. There is no truth. THERE IS NO SPOOOON!

Guess what I have playing OVER AND OVER in my head?

Give up?

Well, I don’t blame you for not guessing it right because it’s not a song.

No. It’s a FREAKING SENTENCE. In a FREAKING FRENCH ACCENT:

“If you wish to see the chef, you will have to wait until all the other customer have gone.”

OVER AND OVER…and OVER my HEAD!

Of course, it’s from my monkey’s favourite movie, Ratatouille, WHICH we have watched almost every day since we got it. We got it some time in December.

“Anton Ego is just another customer. LEZ COOK!”

ARRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!

It won’t stop!

A-NY-WAY. I can still talk to you, even though I have Collette babbling away in my head….

So, this weekend? Some interesting things transpired.

I drank my first Starbucks Chai Tea Latte of 2008…. Yes I did. I had it with soy milk — mmmm….so creammmy and sweet! Why am I not freaking out at myself in my usual self-denigrating style? Because I’m happy about it.

Once a week, Gorgeouses. I’m allowing myself my favourite thing in the whole world once a week. Because this diet thing sucks. Yes, BECAUSE this diet thing sucks, I’m allowing myself one day a week to have my favourite things. And, that day would be Saturday.

So, this Saturday, I sipped my chai in a new way: savouring every single little sip! I enjoyed my favourite Italian grilled vegetable sandwich. And, I munched on my favourite Sunspire Sundrops (the all-natural edition of M&Ms). Mmmmm….

I also mixed all these treats with a healthy dose of speed walking (not the geeky kind), and a healthy, home-cooked dinner. Check it…CHILEH:

That looks a bit like vomit, doesn’t it…. Well, it tasted better than it looks. Josh-O and the monkey loved it. So there!

I also bought a pilates DVDV (as the monkey calls it…hee!). We’ll see how that goes.

And, in other news….

Today, at a 9:30am birthday party (thankyouverymuch), I resisted THIS:

And, instead had this:

How very, very boring of me.

Hmph…, cheaty little monkey….

“If you wish to see the chef, you will have to wait until all the other customer have gone.”